trolley-miami-721192_960_720

A disrupted journey

In a dream I am in a town that is my hometown. It is a very small town and I left it in my early adulthood hoping for more fun, opportunities, new people and success. Anonymity of a big city, a possibility to be and become however I wanted was a very welcome surprise bonus. At the same time, a public transport in the dream town reminds me of the capital city, where I was living until autumn last year. That chapter of my life was significant by hard work, extremely long working hours, stress and career growth up to the point when I burnt out and left the corporate career world.

The dream

I am traveling by a public transport and mark my ticket in a machine in a bus. After a short while I get off and change the bus. Once I am in the new bus I remember, that the ticket I had marked will not be valid anylonger and I need a new one. I hear myself or somebody else saying that I can get a new ticket at the bus stop, which is near local grammar school and that it is a good place to get a new ticket.

I get off the bus and leave my laptop there. I think it is safe (and more comfortable to than carry it up and down) and also, I believe that I would have enough time to make my purchase at a coin machine that is just a step away from the bus vehicle. I assume that because the bus is not too full, somebody would notice I am not back and might tell the driver to wait, in case he wanted to go before I return with a new ticket. I also think I am doing the right thing because I am buying a new ticket instead of travelling without it. Contrary to my thinking, while I put coins into a machine slot, the bus goes away.

At first I don’t pay attention to it, I am sure another bus will come soon, but within a second I remember my laptop is there. I want to call the transport company and ask them to take care of my belonings until I can pick them up. At the same moment I realize two facts: I don’t know where the bus is going and that I left my mobile phone in the laptop bag too. All of these thoughts emerge so quickly, that the bus is hardly starting to pick speed. I decide to wave hands so the driver could possibly see me in the  mirror and stop. But when I put my hands up, the bus suddenly goes fast and it is quite far away within a wink of an eye. I attempt to run but I acknowledge that it doesn’t make any sense, the situation is what it is and – I accept it.

Contrary to my typical reaction in an awake time, I am not even angry at myself, because it was my thinking that disrupted the planned journey. I actually feel a kind of comfort that now free to do continue the journey differently and I look with satisfaction at the straight street road ahead.

Afterthoughts

A few days prior to the dream I started a large project, I am leading classes of MS Excel for employees of a large organization and the project is planned for 10 weeks. Of course, alongside this, I have other things to do. Nevertheless, to be able to deliver the project well, I get up at 5:30 a.m. and leave the house at 6:30 a.m. The location is about 90 km from my place, so I travel by bus to be in place and ready well in advance before the class starts.

The people are divided in groups of 15 and we have three day for a class with each group. Unfortunatelly, the employee are not divided by level of knowledge, and so I have to do miracles to to make the class both challenging and easy to follow – for both advanced students and beginners. Overall, the atmospehere in the location is good and the people are nice, nobody is stressed, which is very rare. For me it is a new type of environment, where everybody is genuinely relaxed.

Teaching adults computing skills requires full concentration and a very clear communication from me; much clearer than I use normally. I do enjoy this temporary change, but at the same time it is exhausting. I have to use correct names each time and for everything, to give detailed instructions how to do required operations, to check results and correct mistakes and so on. So most of my days now I speak like: “Please move the cursor of the mouse to A1, click there and write … “or “Please write 50 into cell B1, press CTRL + C and then mark cells A1 to A5. Then, please press Enter”. I have been using thinking and logic much more than I usually do. Always checking time, checking if everybody is following and getting it, checking if we are all on the same page.

The dream occurred on Friday night, right before the weekend. And indeed, all I plan to do is to enjoy a well deserved relax.

bernard-dewagtere_20131210102442

A Teacher’s Shadow

It is a peak season in my business. I am submitting proposals for next year and delivering classes signed for this season. It is difficult for me to “do business”, while I am tuned into a “lecturer” set of mind, which is sharing and caring. Recently, I had concerns and I was feeling uneasy while waiting for a final decision from clients. I could gain a lot and I could loose a lot. Besides this, I wanted our household to be clean and cosy, cook nice meal and take good care of our garden and vineyard. Continue reading

beautiful-940542_960_720

On dreams

I have always been a dreamer and some of my dreams disturbed me, others amused me. My first significant dream that I recognized as spiritually important, occurred to me shortly before I turned 33. It was such a strong dream that I journaled it and I keep a journal of my dreams alongside my day-light diary ever since. Continue reading

cowboy-boots-975081_960_720

Archetypes Living in Fairy Tales

When I started exploring my Shadow with help of book „Principle of Shadow“ by Ruedriger Dahlke, the first days I felt lost as if wandering through bushes and looking for something that I didn’t even know what it should look like. I, however, was determined not to give up and continue walking even if I didn’t understand what I am doing, writing my „Shadow Diary“ tirelessly with hope that a path would emerge at some point. Continue reading

282412_236641313132919_1129892183_n

A Rhythm of Life

In western part of the world we got used to a linear “from – to” perception of time: from Monday to Friday, from five to nine, from a weekend to a weekend, from a vacation to another vacation, from birthday to birthday. There still are some cultures in the world that perceive time not as a straight line, but as a cycle, a spiral; similarly as our ancestors lived in harmony with repetitive cycles of nature. Continue reading

Awakening_to_life

Follow Your Heart. Always

Vocation is more than an employment, since it is something we enjoy doing, we do it well and we believe in what we are doing. On contrary, an employment is a way to make a living, not necessarily feeding our soul. I cannot remember the name of a guy who mentioned once that our society is bound to die of too much entertainment. A cult of endless fun, carelessness and instant solutions has penetrated every area of our lives, including ways how we look for a job. We are no longer searching for our true calling, we most often look for a job that will be fun to do. Continue reading

reaching_out_for_love_by_kjherstin-on-deviantart-cc-by-nc-nd-3-0

When Everything Becomes A Burden

We’ve met in a small book shop that already witnessed plenty of “accidental” meetings and where many wonderful friendships started. Although we hadn’t seen each other for a long time, we skipped casual courtesies and without a “welcome in” ceremony I was dragged into a discussion – just like when old friends meet or as you can know it from those American classics, you know, those scenes in a men’s barber shop, where they talk through the whole day about whatnot. Continue reading